Dating after divorce — yours,theirs, and what your children need
When a new relationship enters the picture — yours or your former spouse’s — the excitement is real. So is its weight on everyone around you.
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When your former spouse moves on
You thought you had made your peace with the divorce. And then they found someone, and you discovered a part of you hadn’t quite.
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Navigating relationships during divorce
The choices you make during a divorce — about your children, your community, and yourself — will outlast almost everything else about it. Some of the heaviest things people carry out of a divorce are not what was done to them, but what they did in response. On protecting your children’s love for both parents, resisting the pull to build a tribe, and choosing integrity over the vindication you may never receive.
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Boundaries
A boundary is not a wall. It is a statement of what you will do — for yourself, with your own life — when love and limits have to live in the same sentence.
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Authenticity
The illusion of perfection costs more than we know. On putting it down, the help we needed to do it, and how authenticity becomes the gateway to who we are becoming.
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Answers to prayers
If you’re praying about something hard right now, and the Lord feels silent, this post is for you. On the shapes an answer can take — yes, no, something different, you decide, not yet, silence — and what to do when the silence won’t lift. Includes extended voice blocks from both Val and Bruce.
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A letter to the children
This letter is for you, wherever you are — whether you are eight years old or thirty-eight. What happened between your parents was not your fault. You could not have fixed it. You do not have to choose. And you are loved more than you may always have felt.
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For church leaders and communities
A faith community can be one of the greatest sources of healing for someone going through divorce — or one of the loneliest places they have ever been. We have experienced both. This is what it felt like from where we were sitting.
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Before we knew what we didn’t know
Most of us spend time on Mount Stupidity before the descent begins. The view is wonderful, the confidence is complete — and the fall, when it comes, is steeper than we ever imagined. Here is what we saw from the top, and what it cost us.
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