The white horse
For most of my life I stayed up on the horse — performing strength, certain the people I loved would rather see me die up there than watch me fall. I was wrong about that. And learning why is the most important thing I know.
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The honeymoon phase is definitely over
Innocence ends somehow — in one moment or many. What we do with the losing matters more than the losing itself. The choice not to become bitter changes everything.
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Expectations, communications, and the truces we never meant to make
Most marriage struggles don’t begin with bad intentions. They begin with unspoken hopes, quiet assumptions, and the slow accumulation of things we stopped saying out loud. Neither of us was doing anything wrong. We just weren’t doing one important thing right.
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Judging me, judging you
Whether you have felt judged by others, or caught yourself judging someone else — this post is for you. We believe you can either love someone or judge them. We have come to believe you cannot truly do both at the same time.
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Good efforts, wrong target
Most spouses genuinely want to make each other happy. The problem is rarely bad intentions. It is almost always something quieter — a failure to understand what the other person actually needs.
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The problems that don’t get casseroles
Some struggles rally the whole community to your side. Others are suffered in silence. Understanding this difference is the first step toward ending the shame that makes hard things even harder.
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Why we needed a therapist — and why you might too
For a long time, we were both part of the crowd that quietly judged people who sought professional help. Then life humbled us. Here is what we learned.
