For those who wonder if hope applies to them

A note to those who have been hurt by someone else’s choices: this particular letter is written for them — not for you. We see you. We have not forgotten you. We hope you can read what follows with the grace you yourself deserve.

Dear friend,

This letter is for you — the one who wonders if hope applies to you too.

We don’t pretend to understand what you carry. We don’t know the full weight of your shame, or how long you have struggled, or how many times you have tried and failed and tried again. We don’t know what it has cost you — what it has cost the people you love most — or what you have said to yourself in your darkest moments. We won’t pretend otherwise.

But we do know this: you may have been told, or you may have told yourself, that you are beyond hope. That you cannot change. That you have forfeited your right to healing, to peace, to love — perhaps even to the Savior’s grace. That the damage is too great and the pattern too entrenched and the people you have hurt too wounded for any of it to ever be made right.

We are writing to tell you, as gently and as clearly as we can: it is not true.

We have loved people — people we still love deeply — who have struggled for decades with things that have caused real pain to themselves and to everyone around them. We have sat with the heartbreak of watching someone we care about remain in a darkness we couldn’t reach into. And in that helplessness, we have learned something: the Savior can reach where we cannot. His capacity to heal is not limited by the depth of the wound or the length of the struggle or the number of times someone has fallen. Elder Patrick Kearon has taught that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is infinite — and that infinite means infinite. It covers you.

There is a reason the Savior told the story of the prodigal son. He knew there would always be people who felt too far gone to come home. That story is for you.

Elder Kearon has also taught that God is in relentless pursuit of each of us — that He does not put up roadblocks and turn us away, but removes every barrier between us and Him. He will not refuse you when you bring Him your broken heart. That is not His intent, His design, His plan, His purpose, His wish, or His hope. His intent — in Elder Kearon’s words — is to bring you home.

Healing will require effort — real, sustained, humble effort. It may require professional help, and we hope you will seek it if you haven’t. It will almost certainly require more patience with yourself than you think you deserve. It will require honesty — the kind that is painful before it is freeing. And it will require turning, again and again, toward the Savior. Not because you have earned the right to, but because He has already made it possible.

We don’t know what your path will look like or how long it will take. We won’t pretend to have those answers. But we have an unwavering confidence — born of faith and of experience — that healing is possible for you. Peace is possible for you. You are a beloved son or daughter of a Heavenly Father who has not given up on you. Not even close.

Please don’t give up on yourself.

With love and hope,

Val & Bruce