This list grows from our own experience — these are not paid recommendations or endorsements. They are simply things that genuinely helped us understand ourselves and our situations more clearly. We encourage you to approach anything here prayerfully and with your own discernment.

Books

1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

Monica Mendez Leahy

We went through most of this before our own marriage. Highly recommended for anyone considering marriage.

All Things New

Fiona Givens & Terryl Givens

A rethinking of sin, grace, and salvation — gentle, hopeful, and deeply pastoral.

The Anatomy of Peace

The Arbinger Institute

On the heart at war versus the heart at peace — and how conflict really begins inside us.

Anger

Gary Chapman

On handling a powerful emotion in a healthy way, from the author of The Five Love Languages.

Atlas of the Heart

Brené Brown

Maps over 80 human emotions with precision and compassion. Gave us language we didn’t know we needed.

Attached

Amir Levine & Rachel S.F. Heller

The science of adult attachment and how it shapes every relationship we have.

Attachments

Tim Clinton & Gary Sibcy

A faith-based perspective on attachment theory and relationships.

The Body Keeps the Score

Bessel A. van der Kolk

How trauma reshapes the body and brain — and the paths toward healing.

Boundaries in Marriage

Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Changed how we understood what healthy limits look like in a relationship.

Braving the Wilderness

Brené Brown

On belonging, authenticity, and the courage to stand alone when necessary.

Come as You Are

Samuel Norton

On being received exactly as we are — the welcome that makes change possible.

Dangerous Love

Chad Ford

Transforming fear and conflict at home, at work, and in the world by choosing to love anyway.

Dare to Lead

Brené Brown

Brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts — courage as a skill that can be learned.

Daring Greatly

Brené Brown

On vulnerability, shame, and the courage to show up authentically.

Educated

Tara Westover

A memoir about surviving a difficult family and finding your own mind.

Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman

Why our capacity to understand and manage emotion can matter more than raw intellect.

Faith After Doubt

Brian D. McLaren

On what to do when old certainties stop working — and the faith that can come after.

Falling Upward

Richard Rohr

A spirituality for the two halves of life — and the gifts that only the second half brings.

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget

Lysa TerKeurst

On making peace with painful memories and building a life that is beautiful again.

The Gifts of Imperfection

Brené Brown

On letting go of who you think you should be and embracing who you are.

The God Who Weeps

Terryl & Fiona Givens

How a particular vision of God makes tender, hopeful sense of a hard life.

The Good Life

Robert Waldinger & Marc Schulz

Lessons from the world’s longest study of happiness — it comes down to relationships.

Happiness

Matthieu Ricard

A guide to developing what the author calls life’s most important skill.

His Needs, Her Needs

Willard F. Harley Jr.

A practical guide to understanding what each partner needs most in a marriage.

Hold Me Tight

Sue Johnson

Helped us understand that most conflicts have an underlying emotional need driving them.

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

John Van Epp

A practical, research-based guide to choosing a healthy partner.

Into the Headwinds

Terryl & Nathaniel Givens

Why belief has always been hard — and why that difficulty is not a reason to abandon it.

Leaders Eat Last

Simon Sinek

Why some teams pull together and others don’t — on safety, trust, and putting others first.

The Let Them Theory

Mel Robbins

On releasing the exhausting work of controlling other people — and the freedom that follows.

Men, Women, and Worthiness

Brené Brown

On the experience of shame and the quiet power of believing we are enough.

Mindsight

Daniel J. Siegel

How the brain processes emotion and experience — and how we can change our patterns.

Original Grace

Adam S. Miller

An experiment in restoration thought — grace as the deeper truth beneath our guilt.

The Peacegiver

James L. Ferrell

A profound Latter-day Saint perspective on the Atonement and peace in relationships.

People of the Lie

M. Scott Peck

A difficult but important read on the nature of human evil and self-deception.

The Power of Vulnerability

Brené Brown

Teachings on authenticity, connection, and courage — the foundation of her later work.

The Priesthood Power of Women

Barbara Morgan Gardner

A faithful exploration of women’s spiritual power and authority in the gospel.

Pursuing the Good Life

Christopher Peterson

Positive psychology applied to everyday life — practical and grounded.

Rising Strong

Brené Brown

On what happens after the fall — the reckoning, the rumble, and the rise.

Tattoos on the Heart

Gregory Boyle

Stories of boundless compassion from a priest who walked with gang members in Los Angeles.

The Tears That Taught Me

Morgan Richard Olivier

On grief, healing, and the growth that comes through difficulty.

Theo of Golden

Allen Levi

A quiet, luminous novel about an old man, a small town, and the gift of being seen.

Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal

Dr. Kevin B. Skinner

Practical tools for healing after betrayal trauma — for those doing the hard work of recovery.

What Happened to You

Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey

Reframes bad behavior — asking “what happened to you?” rather than “what’s wrong with you?”

While You Were Out

Meg Kissinger

A memoir about mental illness in a family — honest, compassionate, and clarifying.

Who Moved My Cheese?

Spencer Johnson

A short parable about meeting change with openness rather than fear.

Wild at Heart

John Eldredge

Helped us understand a man’s God-given need for adventure, purpose, and respect.

Wrestling the Angel

Terryl L. Givens

The foundations of Latter-day Saint thought on God, humanity, and the cosmos.

Conference talks

Like a Broken Vessel

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland · October 2013

Be Peaceable Followers of Christ

Elder Quentin L. Cook · October 2023

Christlike Poise

Elder Mark A. Bragg · April 2023

Let God Prevail

President Russell M. Nelson · October 2020

The Challenge to Become

Elder Dallin H. Oaks · October 2000

Meek and Lowly of Heart

Elder David A. Bednar · April 2018

He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings

Elder Patrick Kearon · April 2022

Continue in Patience

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf · April 2010

YouTube videos

Scripture Central — Come Follow Me Insights

Thoughtful, scholarly Come Follow Me study with Taylor Halverson and Tyler Griffin · scripturecentral.org

Don’t Miss This

Warm, accessible Come Follow Me study with Emily Belle Freeman and David Butler · dontmissthisstudy.com

Bryce Dunford — Temple Symbolism Series

Deep, insightful exploration of temple covenants and symbolism · brotherdunford.org

Crash Course Psychology Series

Accessible, well-produced introductions to psychology concepts

Videos about mental illness and personality disorders

Search YouTube for reputable sources — university channels, licensed therapists, and mental health organizations are good starting points

Favorite links

How the Atonement Helped Me Survive Divorce

Ensign, April 1997 · Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Rebuilding My Life After Divorce

Ensign, June 2000 · Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Like a Broken Vessel — Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, October 2013 · On mental illness and the healing power of Christ

Church Guidelines on Alternative Healing Practices

General Handbook · Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

What Are Personality Disorders?

American Psychiatric Association · Overview of all ten personality disorder types

The Casserole Rules

Red Tent Living · On how we show up — or don’t — for people who are suffering

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

Matthew 7:7

This list will grow over time as we continue to learn. If you have found something that has helped you through a difficult marriage or divorce and would like to share it with our community, we’d love to hear from you.